Quotes
AdrianAlmazan22: My friend, there are times when one is forced to delve into the wonders of that have spawned the information age. Dear god, this is one of those times. I can say that nothing tickles me more than my ability to converge the lines of our communication - and the uniting of our souls. In a world fraught with the travesties of warfare, the perils of disease, and the paucity of peace, I can only breathe an exasperating sigh relief as I connect with my Stanford penpal hundreds of kilometers beyond the horizon afar; moreover, gratitude fills my heart when I reflect upon the dream of one innovator - Steven Q. Case - and the realization of an impossible dream. That dream was America Online Instant Messenger. Godspeed.
RamitSethi: thats true, i
guess every brilliant and striking man has his day
Bridgierun2: they also have a striking woman to buy diamond rings for
RamitSethi: man we have no
artists in our group
Ziggidyzach: dave is an artist
Ziggidyzach: not in the normal sense
Ziggidyzach: but a digital artist counts
Ziggidyzach: you are an artist of words
Ziggidyzach: jrk is an artist of arguments
Ziggidyzach: doug is an artist of misery
RamitSethi: i dressed up like
a child molester for our party
vasb2: so you didnt really dress up did you?
Ziggidyzach: no offense
Ziggidyzach: but when i say i approve of small breasts
Ziggidyzach: well, you're pushing it
davisflow: you have my thanks for the outpouring of ethanol beverages for my sake!!
Ziggidyzach: Come to Stanford!!!!
www.geocities.com/ahillyersa/june5.jpg
Ziggidyzach: because if she was in the necessary drugged state
Ziggidyzach: we should get
jobs in admissions
Ziggidyzach: the freshman class would be 100% female
Ziggidyzach: 2890, is one i had seen before, not bad minus tongue
Ziggidyzach: defensive posture, perfect www.geocities.com/ahillyersa/getty2.jpg
Ziggidyzach: and then i am going to commit suicide over the lack of attactive women within a 4 mile radius
vasb2: just make a minority
dart board a take a shot
vasb2: voila, comedy article
raquel7282: last night like 8 guys came in my room to "tuck me in"
PopeDoug3: death will not wait
RamitSethi: REMEMBER WHO YOURE
TALKING TO
RamitSethi: a pillar of trust in the community
RamitSethi: a paragon of integrity
RamitSethi: a man of indescribable ambition, tempered only by his penchant for
giving back to his peers
RamitSethi: Ramit.
littleles782: anyone who has a sermon like that can't be trusted
vasb2: I SWEAR IF ONE MORE SON OF A BITCH MENTIONS HEGEL OR KENT im going to take a gun and kill them unless they can come up with a coherent sentence without spinning some post modern vomit
Bl4ckf00t: i need to be very drunk to have any seblence of a good week
RamitSethi: the funny thing
is its not only against OTHER people, its against each OTHER
AdrianAlmazan22: explain. (i smoked last weekend)
RamitSethi: because if youput that up, and i put mine up, we'll both get in
trouble
RamitSethi: then ill hate you, youll hate me
AdrianAlmazan22: ah and therefore the funny thing is its not only against OTHER
people, its against each OTHER
davisflow: actually, thats how i really broke my leg, i went to bv to get something and a senior beat me mercilessly and broke my leg
RamitSethi: were you drunk?
raquel7282: unfortunately no
raquel7282: explain what the LD has to do with our midterm
Bl4ckf00t: 10 year olds are now out of my range
davisflow: yeah, i dunno, but if i ever do that, regardless of my state, drunk, whatever, i hope you will do me a favor kill me!!!!
raquel7282: make love to me
[20 seconds later...]
raquel7282: what did bridget say to you
raquel7282: ignore that stupid bitch
Ziggidyzach: Come to Stanford!!!! www.geocities.com/ahillyersa/june5.jpg
RamitSethi: curse, just look
at www.hotornot.com and www.ratecali.com for now
AdrianAlmazan22: are they for real?
RamitSethi: yeah man
AdrianAlmazan22: my roommate and i are putting their AIM's on our buddy lists
right now
LAdancechick: you have to reach a certain size criteria to be eligible for benefits
Email from a friend:
Ramit,
Thank you for all of your help on this essay. Without you I probably would have
just written "I Like School" on a Napkin and sent it in. Let me know
what you are up to in the near future so I can thank you "in person."
And when I say "in person" I mean that I want to thank you "orally"
and when I say "orally" I don't mean over "e-mail" and when
I say "e-mail" I mean "E-MALE."
RamitSethi: I HATE SO MANY
KINDS OF PEOPLE
AdrianAlmazan22: i feel you, young friend
AdrianAlmazan22: but use that hate burning within you for good and not evil
RamitSethi: hmm
RamitSethi: but how, master
RamitSethi: it is so hard
AdrianAlmazan22: start by unzipping your pants
davisflow: if i was 6 foot something 250 lb or so and black, i would seriously
serously consider it
vasb2: i never knew her well, why does everyone hate her yet still hang around her
AdrianAlmazan22: what in the
hell?
AdrianAlmazan22: you ever notice that there is a general pattern to people's
away messages?
AdrianAlmazan22: number 1: the nerd that's trying to conceal his/her nerdiness
AdrianAlmazan22: example:
AdrianAlmazan22: Trying to study for my midterm. Its not working! He He!
vasb2: i dont know, i dont
bother to check very often
RamitSethi: how can you live
vasb2: i always get more homework from email
vasb2: 2 words = plausible deniability
PopeDoug3: my uptime is the equivalent of 12 inches
Evil Comeau: fucking A Ramit, you're profile's been the same for 5 days
VLoveu2: I hate you more than my life
vik151: how did you manage to get up from your computer to go to big game?
VLoveu2: listen to what i
realized today you can relate
VLoveu2: we say I wanna die i wanna die
VLoveu2: but we're way to lazy to ever kill ourselves
TheCoolPreet: all u did was
complain to me about how busy u were
RamitSethi: i WAS
RamitSethi: last week i busted my ass
TheCoolPreet: oh with a guy?
etirebiter: bulimia is a girl's best friend
TheCoolPreet: how's your love
life?
RamitSethi: good
TheCoolPreet: HAHAHHAHAHHA.......
TheCoolPreet: how many?
[15 seconds later...]
TheCoolPreet: i know u have more than one man
davisflow: i have to go to
my Bad grandparents house
davisflow: not my Good ones, sigh
Ziggidyzach: a burrito is not a good lover
RamitSethi: short hair?
Bl4ckf00t: she is really cute
Bl4ckf00t: luckily i had no chance with her
Bl4ckf00t: and am now her gay friend
RamitSethi: dunno, im the only one here
jlaww32: are you looking at porn right now?
jlaww32: be honest with me
Ziggidyzach: and worst of all i can't find the noose
Bl4ckf00t: i will keep your
memory alive
RamitSethi: pour some liquor out for your nigga
Bl4ckf00t: yes out into a glass so i can drink it
davisflow: ok, do that, but
we can watch a movie here in my room if necessary
davisflow: but the whole room movie experience with multiple men is not something
that i look forward to
Bl4ckf00t: i hope everyone
else failed
RamitSethi: HAHAHHAHAHA
RamitSethi: that is the best outlook ever
Bl4ckf00t: that's what curves are for
Bl4ckf00t: to make you hate others
Auto response from RamitSethi:
lunch and then a delightful death to prevent inevitable failure!
---------------------------------------------------
BeanieSL: please donm'
BeanieSL: please don't die a delightful death
BeanieSL: or any kind
PopeDoug3: you should get plastic surgery
RamitSethi: how was grandma's
davisflow: it was cool, no fistfights this time
PopeDoug3: the see through
ones make me kind of uncomfortable
PopeDoug3: I feel like I have to look above her head when I'm talking to her
so as not to seem suspicious
RamitSethi: i find your excuse
acceptable
RamitSethi: for intruding on the normally calm waters of IM communication to
Ramit
MNijjar: lol i know i bet you were so thrilled that someone besides doug IMed
you
vasb2: you should have been
in my psych class the other day
vasb2: we were going over the differences betweeen male and female skills
vasb2: and these feminists were going nuts
vasb2: and the professor made a joke saying if they dont like the class
vasb2: that they should go home and clean
RamitSethi: curse, dinner
time, let us continue this later
etirebiter: feast like the frail man you are
jlaww32: here's a nother reason
I hate IM... I've already gotten like 3 messages from 16 yr old girls wanting
to chat
jlaww32: SinginStina: that was painful
jlaww32: jlaww32: was he rough?
jlaww32: you like it rough don't you
jlaww32: you naughty girl
etirebiter: yes, see you then
RamitSethi: until that day, then.
etirebiter: (forlorn trumpet plays)
etirebiter: today i talked to a girl (oh boy) in line at the market, she was
getting slim fast, when she obviously didn't need it
etirebiter: how wonderful
RamitSethi: theres now a BIKINI
SHOP in the mall here
PopeDoug3: seriously
PopeDoug3: just hang out outside
RamitSethi: oh my god i want a 800mm lens and sit across the walkway
PopeDoug3: with your pants down
RamitSethi: the best kind
of victim
etirebiter: yes she was. completely defenseless
etirebiter: and vulnerable, oohh
RamitSethi: we need to somehow
publicize our findings!!!!!!!
vmoneyX: what?
[25 seconds later...]
vmoneyX: true. we do need to promulgate these revelations
vik151: dougs brother is definitely
in law school
vik151: PopeDoug3: Blockbuster is in the house, but unfortunately, Doug is not.
He's on the phone. I'm just using his computer. (Just to avoid total confusion,
"I'm" = his brother.) I don't know how this AOL thing works, so I
didn't want you to think that doug was ignoring you....
RamitSethi: HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAH
RamitSethi: you should ask him if he's wearing a full suit at this very moment
vik151: i didnt know how to react
vik151: i thought he might charge me for the minute he spent preparing that
IM or something so i wanted to jet asap
vik151: no problem. man i played grand theft auto 3 last night for the first time, that shit is gangster as fuck
PopeDoug3: I dunno if we want to write a whole paragraph about how dumb beaten wives are...
RamitSethi: he was confused
why you didnt recognize him
ManeeshSethi: (i thought he was chinese)
RamitSethi: heh thatsa dave
RamitSethi: chinese=dave, jonathan=white
ManeeshSethi: something = wrong
ManeeshSethi: i didnt know that
ManeeshSethi: i really thought all 3 were chinese
shehzadi simran: cuz my mom called me a prostitute yesterday lol
littleles782: no i have to
have my blood drawn on tuesday morning
littleles782: and i don't think it would be a good idea to show up hung over
RamitSethi: sup g
vmoneyX: yo
RamitSethi: no one's awake
vmoneyX: fuck them
raquel7282: i have to write
a paper on asian immigrants and all that boo hoo feel sorry for me cause i'm
chinese bullshit
Bl4ckf00t: she's so lazy
RamitSethi: wow
RamitSethi: if youre calling her lazy, she must be
Bl4ckf00t: like she comes over to do homework
Bl4ckf00t: then she ends up just asking me for the answers
RamitSethi: HAH
Bl4ckf00t: and when i tell them to her, she wants me to type them
vmoneyX: yeah my backwards hat has caused quite a ruckus
RamitSethi: why's your door
closed
jlaww32: working
RamitSethi: ok, im me when you want to do anything
jlaww32: you're the worst motivator ever
RamitSethi: hello comrade.
AdrianAlmazan22: salutations
RamitSethi: how is the east-coast paradigm treating you.
AdrianAlmazan22: like shit
RamitSethi: HAHA that ended our attempt at high-class language
Z1vt: get this, "Stanford
is such a wonderful group of unique, talented, and UPBEAT people that the community..."
RamitSethi: heh i wish kaplan or princeton review interviewed us
Z1vt: i can see it now, Stanford Sophomore says simply, "kill me"
littleles782: no i have to
have my blood drawn on tuesday morning
littleles782: and i don't think it would be a good idea to show up hung over
iselitalinda: i want some
eggs
RamitSethi: eggs are good
iselitalinda: make me some eggs
vik151: me : your profile
:: husband : wife
vik151: do you know what the relationship is there?
vik151: domination
iselitalinda: i saw vivek
in arcos
RamitSethi: yeah?
iselitalinda: he was eating at a table by himself
iselitalinda: i almost said "get some friends, man"