To: branner-fun@lists.stanford.edu From: Pilar Abascal Some of you may have seen the atrocity of Luke's, James' and Ramit's room, or maybe you have only vaguely heard of it through the Branner grapevine. Anna and Pilar, on the event of their last night in Branner hall, decided to take it upon themselves to spare the boys' pocketbooks from the fines of Housing. Here we have an itemized list of everything we removed from the room, items highlighted in red are the ones we found the most interesting. a black umbrella an ugly Perry Ellis hat with the Ross tag still on it (11.99) 2 containers of Bounce dryer sheets 1 white board 1 half white half cork board 2 white mismatched socks 1 pair of small black scissors 1 chaco sandal 1 large stanford sticker 1 Ten Mile tide sticker one weird horn decal stange white wire tray 250 tablet bottle of Centrum 1 can tectron fabric protector w/uv sunscreen 1 folding camp table electric drill manual "Effects" professional grease face paint (red) Luke's WCT folder 3 3-ring binders UPS shipping receipt empty 2 liter bottle of coke blank freshman advisor survey 20 pushpins Gladiator Part 2 CD Luke's IHUM papers 1 pad yellow post its one aerobi superdisc frisbee 1 empty gummi bears container 1 dry erase marker 1 I.room t shirt 20 thumbtacks one "I'm a Yiddish Cowboy" poster 1 family portrait from the 70s or 80s? (1 by 1.5 inch, with father, mother and child (blonde, Luke?) 1 Serious Laughter handout with a penis drawn on it 5 containers of Raid Ant poison a stanford axe committe mini football 1 stanford cardinal flag (very dusty, shoved behind dresser in outer room) countless receipts and papers on the floor one Tigger card to James, from a girl named Nicola, thanking him for a Christmas present half empty bottles with rotting contents (including generic brand ketchup, beaver deli mustard, A1 steak sauce) mini hot dog buns 1 empty laser printer box 1 empty bottle of Captain Morgan's Original Spiced rum a Bud King of Beers Id bracelet empty gatorade bottle 1 Thera band ( for strength rehab) Leopard halloween outfit (James?) empty 8 pack Stagg chili "Classic" 1 blank dryer sheet tacked to wall 1 wall lamp shoved in the closet sandwich bags empty listerine bottle trash bags Medi-quik antiseptic spray 1 container of Lustrasilk Megamoist oil moisturizing hair lotion gilette foamy regular shaving cream 1 bottle of Finesse touchables silk protein enriched mousse (also, moisturizing) 1 Crest fresh mint, baking soda and peroxide whitening toothpaste 1dirty red toothbrush 2 empty pop tarts boxes 1 half full Gatorade bottle, lemon lime 1 empty "Trading Places" VHS box empty "Ferris Bueller's Day off" empty "Enemy of the State" 1 laundry basket 1 empty plastic cup 1 large Dinty Moore beef stew can 6 hangers 1 empty CD burner box used sponge (Pilar had to touch it) one unidentified strip of T-shirt tied into a knot, purpose unknown one incomplete manicure set dirty plastic bowl 2 empty nutrigrain bar boxes empty trash bags (new!) empty bottle of palmolive a soccer ball one disassembled stool/table 2 Precise select pens 2 economy jars of apple sauce 1 red and black striped evil man mask (new Star wars?) one tupperware container full of small packets of fancy ketchup and del scorcho one pair of dingy yet matching socks strip of magnetic poetry reading "see what I'm cold beautiful good" two gold metal hooks one knife one cherry pit one empty disposable contacts case basically, Luke's whole bed set: one large plaid pillow sham one matching body pillow one set of forest green sheets one mattress pad one leaning tower of pisa shot glass one PO Box key two strips of duct tape on the wall 8 chocolate rasberry fudge balance bars UNder the bed: Philly's most wanted DJ CLue mixed tape sampler CD one pair of new athletic socks, still in the package one Louisville slugger baseball bat one HUGE economy sized deli mild salsa one silver whiffle bat one stapler one lone sock with pubic hair one unopened container of baking soda one roll of toilet paper more bounce dryer sheets one bella vista broncos smelly t-shirt (we handled this specimen with the ends of the bats) an empty iron box one already opened Goobers (PB and J(strawberry)) two 2 gallon GAtorade powder mixes one empty Sonicare container 5 Oroville popcorn packets one Pasta roni angel hair primavera three rice a ronis one barnhouse parmesan pasta three full boxes of Ensure (18 cans total) 2 cans stagg chili 3 cans of Campbell's Healthy Request tomato soup 1 can of split pea with ham 1 crushed green cocktail umbrella 2 large plastic ladles Ramit's welcome to branner folder 8 packets of Carnations Rich Chocolate flavor Hot cocoa mix army green thread sunflower seed half a peanut a baggy of lipton tea bags one beefeater live a little martini shaker two beer bottle caps more thumbtacks part of organic chemistry molecule kit Sobe top one almost gone bag of tortilla chips one strand of purple mardi gras beads one athletic attitude assessment form one plastic fork one airbrushed night scene of lone, bedraggled ship on the ocean, includes moonbeams and north star one Thomas D. Mengelson "Catch of the Day" poster, action shot of bear catching a fish in his mouth carefully cut out Heidi Klum signature clipping from a newspaper advertising Happy Hour at the Blue Chalk cafe one black TV cable duct taped to the floor one ethernet card 6 white hooks on the wall We did what we could, but there are still things you will inevitably be charged for: carpet damage (from the duct tape on the floor) 2 missing nonupholstered chairs ($147 each) 6 hooks that are stuck on the wall Pilar is giving the Louisville slugger to Ben Jones, and she has the PO Box key, if anyone wants to claim it. Have a very merry summer, Much love, Pilar and Anna